Tag Archives: april 2017

The Awakening: Being Here

By Halcyon

Life is hard. From the moment we open our infant eyes to the blinding white of a delivery room until we follow that light to places unknown, it seems there’s always something trying to stand in our way. There are days when all you want to do is give in, let it take over, and be swept away to anywhere but here. In her new series The Awakening, Halcyon hopes that giving us a lifeline will help us find our way back.

The Awakening: Being Here

One small crack doesn’t mean that you are broken. It means that you were put to the test and you did not fall apart. (Linda Poindexter)

This new series was originally intended to be something else entirely – and while I may incorporate some of what I’d planned to, it will only be those thoughts that I think pertain to this.

So what is “this” about, you might be wondering? What exactly does “Being Here” mean? Before I reveal that, let me tell you a little about how I got here and why the sudden shift to a different article. Simply enough, I got sick. Not a cold or flu, and not anything life threatening like cancer. In fact, as I write this, I am still not certain what is going on. For lack of a concrete diagnosis I am going to use “chronic pain”, as it’s been three years now. I’ve steadily worked my way up the narcotic ladder with no real change in how I feel. I am no longer working at a physical job, but doing mainly freelance as I try to ascertain my situation and how I might be able to earn money writing.

With that in mind, let me explain this series. “The Awakening” is a journey toward “Being Here,” which essentially means, being present. I’ve been lucky enough to have known, and still know, some pretty amazing people who have been confronted with major illness and obstacles, who still manage to be present in their life and walk through the difficulties with joy, a smile, and a capacity to view these obstacles as an adventure. This series will be as much a learning process for me as it will be for you, because I have struggled with this “chronic pain”, and I am not ashamed to say that I have felt a healthy amount of self-pity and anger over it. My life has changed dramatically in the last three years, and it’s a struggle trying to see the positive and maintain a joyful outlook on life when I am weighed down by pain so much of the time.

I believe that positive thinking can help in many aspects of our lives. As someone who also struggles with mental illness, and who’s chosen to be off meds for about three years, I work hard on keeping perspective and balance in my life, but I have found that chronic pain cuts through my defenses and my perspective in ways that I was not prepared for. It’s even left me thinking that I might have to reconsider my choice on being medication free, but I truly feel that the cessation of my medication was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

My epiphany about this article came as I scrolling through Facebook and a former co-worker tagged me in a meme about JOY. My co-worker, Lisa, is a cancer survivor. I say that in a less definite way than some, because Lisa is still going through chemotherapy – she was diagnosed with cancer, for the fifth time, fifteen months ago. It had started as breast cancer, but spread and has now progressed to bones and liver – but she is still here. I got her a bangle bracelet that says “F#ck Cancer” because that is her mantra. In working with her for five years, I watched her battle cancer twice, with such ferocity and force of spirit that you would not know her struggle if you did not know her well yourself.

We worked in customer service. She still works there, as an assistant manager for the store, and is beloved by all the customers. Prior to my changing jobs, she had been told that there was no more they could do. Her oncologist said quit working, spend time with your husband and your family (she has no children), and live whatever time you have left. That lasted three weeks before her husband found a different doctor and she decided “F#ck Cancer!” She will never be in remission or “cancer-free” like some people. She has had cancer so many times, and her body is so ravaged by it, that she will always have cancer cells in her body. What her treatment does is maintain those very low numbers so she can live. But Lisa doesn’t just live, she LIVES! She told me on a regular basis that once you are faced with your mortality and you realise that you are on borrowed time, your perspective changes drastically, and she wishes it hadn’t taken cancer to change that perspective for her.

We’ve all heard that, right? Live like today is your last day. But do we really do it? No. We always think we have time, but we don’t – and so I decided maybe, we can learn together how to LIVE, and not just live, even when we’re faced with hardship. There’s definitely a time to cry, to rail against the hand you were dealt in life, but I think it’s how we face it at the end that becomes most telling of who we are inside and exposes what we’re really made of. I think that giving ourselves the motivation and skills to deal with things gracefully and humbly can only benefit us, helping us progress toward that state of Being Here and Being Present, especially during those times when it is most important.

Confessions of a Drama Queen

By mouth{JT}

Barbecues: The Matter of the Meat

I hate barbecues – I mean really hate them – and it’s all about the food.

Apart from restaurants, which I can be a little bit picky about, I’m not going to eat other people’s food. I’m just not. It’s not happening, period. I am convinced I will be sick. So on that score, barbecues would be the worst form of torture there is. Let’s face it – it’s food of a dubious nature (mostly steak and sausages) being cooked very badly by people that shouldn’t be in charge of a lighter, let alone an open flame.

There are two forms of barbecue meat: Raw to the point it’s running around your plate, or so charred that cinders get stuck in your teeth. It’s accompanied by badly made, tossed together lettuce leaves (that have wilted while waiting for the meat to cook) and – ugh – tomatoes, that kind of – maybe – resembles a salad on a bad day. I can’t eat that. I just can’t, and no amount of bribery is going to put a smile on my face. So I used to avoid them and stay home, pretending I had leprosy – or worse. Then came one I couldn’t get out of, and it hit me: Why not take my own food? Food that I like, and could pretend it was part of a contribution to the event. If I took food I liked, then at least there would be something for me to eat, and I wouldn’t have to pretend to have just eaten – or that I had gone vegetarian for that day only.

And that’s exactly what I did.

Hmmm – what to make.

Oh, I know: Kebabs!

So I would get up early and make kebabs- bacon and banana ones that I could pretend were “for the children”. I’d precook the bacon, chop and soak the banana in lemon juice, soak my sticks in cold water, and get to work threading these guys up. I’d make a pile of them until the bacon ran out and carefully fold them under some tin foil, only to be met with, “Ew! Bacon and banana? Ew!” from the adults. I’d just smile and say, “For the kids.”

“Oh, well, I might as well try one seeing as how I’m waiting for the sausage to – Wow! These are so good. Yum!”

And before I’d know it, the other adults would be hooking into my little guys with cries of, “God, these are good. Got any more?” I’d just smile inwardly to myself, knowing I’d already had mine at home – and I’d kept a plate back for the kids, guarding them ferociously.

I don’t do desserts either. I’m not going to eat tinned fruit. It’s non-negotiable. So, once again, I had to make something. Now, my favourite is cherries, and I could eat my own body weight in cherries – just not the tinned kind. They’ve got to be fresh. So – thinking, thinking, thinking. Ah-ha! Got it: Cherries half-dipped in chocolate. It ain’t even hard to do – warm the chocolate, leaving the stalks on the cherries for holding as you dip, then set aside to firm up. In between eating them myself, I made a huge pile both of those, and strawberries dipped in chocolate, too. They’re basically the same thing. I prettied up the plate with a few basil leaves, and – ta -da!

“Hm. Bit posh, ain’t it?” was the comment I got when the plate was offered around. Um, no! Cherries dipped in edible gold leaf, surrounded by thinly sliced truffles soaked in wine, would be a bit posh – but I said nothing; just laughed to myself as the “Oohs” and “Ahhs” started coming out.

When it came time to collect my very empty plates and go home, I got stopped with, “Oh, hey. Next time, do you think you could do more of those bacon and banana thingies? They were good – and, oh, yeah! The cherries, too. I never had those before. They were really good.”

I laughed as I was driving home, about people not going outside their own comfort zones. They’re so eager to judge something without even trying it, that they settle for less than they want because they’re too scared to try anything new.

Next time I might do a salad as well, and – god forbid! – put some feta cheese and pomegranate arils in a spinach salad.

Even I can eat that.

Healing Yourself Naturally

By Halcyon

Whole Beauty is taking a break, but don’t worry – Halcyon’s launching a series of new series, all designed to keep you at your best!

Please note that, as with Whole Beauty, this column explores practices that may not be appropriate for everyone. In addition, the advice given here is not intended to replace a visit to your doctor – much of the modern research into the efficacy of natural remedies is still in its early stages, and not all results seen in the laboratory translate to the real world. Remember that no matter what changes you’re considering, it’s always best to discuss them with your doctor or other health care provider, as he or she will be in the best position to address not only your personal needs and special concerns, but also the safety of alternative treatments, as herbs and supplements may interact both with medications and each other – however, if you’re interested in natural healing, we hope this article will provide you with some opening discussion points!

Healing Yourself Naturally:
An introduction into alternative medicine

In a day where the rising cost of medical insurance is making it difficult for many people to visit a doctor or clinic and pharmaceutical companies are hijacking their wallets, the area of alternative medicine is capturing the attention of a much wider audience. Holistic care is no longer being viewed as a relic from the past – a hobby to dabble in or something our great-grandparents practiced because their health care resources were limited. Even science is backing up the benefits of alternative medicine as something that can be used use in conjunction with modern medical treatment.

In this progressive series, I’m going to give you a tour of the Modern Herbalist Apothecary – common herbs you may find nearby to use for the treatment of minor illnesses and injury, and even some that, in conjunction with a physician’s treatment plan, can help you feel better, faster. I will be giving a broad overview of some of the common approaches of alternative medicine and how they differ from one another, and what you could label as more popular. We will take a look at the science behind what makes these herbs so special and how you can use it. I hope this information enlightens you and encourages you to investigate the fascinating realm of alternative medicine.

Stocking a Modern Apothecary

There are quite possibly thousands of herbs that you could use stock to a modern apothecary, if you had access to them all. I am going to pick my favorites and give the highlights of that herb, what it is, why it works and how to use it.

Nature’s 11 Most Powerful Antibiotics

• Apple Cider Vinegar
• Garlic
• Ginger
• Horse Radish Root
• Onion
• Habanero Peppers
• Oregano Oil
• Tumeric
• Echinacea (Herb)
• Raw Honey
• Colloidal Silver

Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV)

• A known super food with incredible healing properties.
• Vinegar has been used for centuries as a natural remedy to fight infections.
• ACV is also used for its benefit in beauty, from hair to sun burns.
• Some even use ACV as a cleaning product.
• It’s loaded with antioxidants, vitamins, minerals and enzymes. However, not all apple cider is created equal.
• This is what you need to know: Don’t reach for the clear, amber vinegar. You want the one that looks murky and has “sediment” floating in it.
• That murky substance in the vinegar is actually called the “mother,” which means it still contains the beneficial compounds (including antibiotics).

5 Important Benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar

• Lowers blood pressure: Studies show ACV may lower blood pressure and promote heart health.
• Balances Blood Sugar: The acetic acid found in ACV can help balance blood sugar levels and improve diabetes.
• Aids Weight Loss: Studies show ACV to promote fat loss and reduce sugar cravings.
• Fights Colds: ACV is loaded with immune boosting vitamins and antioxidants that keep you healthy.
• Promotes Good Gut Bacteria: ACV contains probiotics [“good” gut bacteria] and a type of acid that promotes the growth of probiotics.

How to use it:

• 6 ounces water
• 1 tablespoon ACV Organic/with the mother
• 2 ounces cranberry juice
• Splash of lime juice

Garlic: Antiviral, Antibacterial and Antifungal

The magic of these three properties make garlic an excellent combatant against a variety of colds, flus, and illnesses. It contains vitamins such as B1, B6, C and A, which are excellent for keeping your immune system rocking.

Garlic (Allium sativum)

• Has been used for medicinal and culinary purposes in countless cultures for thousands of years. It is known to have treated and prevented a wide range of conditions and diseases.
• Allium sativum, aka garlic, is a species in the onion genus, sometimes called “King of the vegetable kingdom”.

How to use it:

Optimum Use: In order to get the maximum benefit of garlic – its antibiotic effect – crush garlic at room temperature and allow to sit 15 minutes. This gives the enzymes time to react. Never cook garlic at high heat – try consuming it raw or cooked very lightly.

Ginger: The Amazing Underground Root

Actually, ginger is a rhizome (an underground stem). It can be dried into a powder or consumed fresh, both with similar benefits.

The Science Behind the Benefits:

Ginger root contains a number of compounds such as gingerols that are able to prevent or reduce immune cell synthesis of cytokines that cause inflammation. (Source: Dr. David Hoskin, Phd.)

Dr. Hoskins is currently investigating how ginger can help people who have diseases caused by chronic inflammation, and how those properties might also protect against cancer.

How to use it:

Add grated ginger into sauces and marinades. Toss a one-inch chunk into smoothies. Infuse in water for tea.

Karaoke Night

By mouth{JT}

The bump of the car against his hip was enough to send him sprawling into the gutter, and as he looked up, all he could see was the cool red of the tail lights as it sped off into the distance. Didn’t even bother to stop. He sat up, pulling a half empty bottle of vodka from a pocket and taking a deep swig before muttering in a surly snarl, “Fucker.”

It had started to rain – that light mist that settles on everything, making you wet before you know it. He fished around in his pocket, dirty fingers closed around the lone five-dollar note there. It would be enough toe buy himself a drink at the bar across the road, he thought, and if he nursed it all night, he could stay out of the rain for a time. Carefully stowing away the bottle, he crossed the road and looked up at the sign over the door. There in big, bold, garish letters read the words:

KARAOKE NITE TONITE
Come as your favorite star, or come just as you are! All welcome!

He grimaced, imagining it – but, hang on! He listened. It was loud in the place – loud with lots of laughter and shouting. This was going to work to his advantage. They’d be too busy to notice he didn’t buy any drinks. He’d be set for the night, and so with a smile, he slid through the door.

The music hit him as soon as he walked in, loud and wailing. A very drunk Jim Morrison was singing, only half into the microphone and slurring the words, a bad rendition of “Roadhouse Blues”, while pushing away a rather tired looking hooker every time she tried to get a grope in. Ordering a beer at the bar, he smiled as the bartender barely gave him a second glance before thrusting the beer to him and hurrying off. Flashing a small grin of triumph to himself, he noticed the bartender hadn’t taken the five bucks, and so he palmed it with practised ease as he found a seat. It was in a back booth where, although he could see the comings and goings easily, not much could be seen of him. Good, he thought as he fingered the bottle in his pocket again. Good. He made himself comfortable with the beer and settled back to watch.

Up on the makeshift stage, Jim was still singing. This time, a small group of girls were dancing in front of him in a tired way. They looked barely out of school, but he shrugged as he took another swallow of vodka. Kids grew up so fast nowadays. Fifteen or twenty-five, you couldn’t tell the difference.

A Marilyn lookalike drifted past him in a heady swirl of perfume, her arm over a painfully thin young man with vacant drug filled eyes. She kept whispering in his ear – “Boo boop be do”.

It was all so surreal, he thought as he took yet another swig, unable to keep his eyes from a fat Elvis – obviously the Vegas years – arguing with the bartender. There was even a Jimi Hendrix lookalike yelling to Jim that it was his turn now. Jim shrugged, dropping the microphone, flipping the bird, and lurching off stage, where he collapsed into a booth in a headlong sprawl. The wrong song came out of the speakers, causing Jimi to scream at the bartender as T-Rex’s “Get It On” blared out, and he suppressed a laugh, imagining Jimi in a feather boa like Marc Bolan had worn. The bartender, still arguing with Elvis, waved a hand in Jimi’s direction before flipping the switch on a tired stereo that had seen better days, and peace won as “Hey, Joe” came wafting out.

A couple of young guys in tired, torn, matted sweaters came in, and he peered closer, but – nah, they had just come as themselves, he decided as they took a seat joining the hookers. He watched, fascinated, as a faded gold sandal was slipped from a fishnet-encased foot and walked up one guy’s legs. Lucky guy was going to score tonight, he thought. Mind you, by the looks of her, even he could have afforded her with that five bucks of his. She seemed desparate.

The door banged open again, with a, “Fuck you all!” screamed out before it had even shut, and he grinned. Now Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen lurched through the crowd of school girls, pushing them out of the way despite the girls’ protests. Yeah, he knew those two. Heroes of his youth, were Sid and Nancy. This should be good. He would have to come here more often if it was.

The night wore on, with more and more people coming through the door. Some, like Sid, he recognized straight away. Some he didn’t, leaving him unsure who they had come as. Opera singer, one chick was, and she was immediately booed off the sagging stage. Well, what did she expect, in a place like this? Hardly Paris, was it? But she took it good-naturedly and left without a fuss. And still more streamed in, a real cross-mix of life to watch.

Karaoke certainly brought them all out, he thought. Must be great for business. He wondered if it was a weekly thing, then sighed, watching fur coats rub shoulders with ripped jeans while gold lamé mingled with peace T-shirts and dirty sneakers. Sure does take all sorts.

The night passed in a blur of mixed drinks – vodka washed down with beer, and a swipe of several glasses of wine as he made his way to the toilets and back again. It didn’t matter to him what he drank, so long as there was plenty of it, and he neatly took a cocktail from the edge of the table closest to him. The warm glow of alcohol had dulled the edges of his life, as it always did, and he let himself drift along, caught up some music from the Fifties. Not bad, he thought drunkenly.

Around four or five, maybe even six – he didn’t know for sure – it started to thin out. People were either leaving or falling asleep at the tables, and the bartender wearily wandered the floor, avoiding pools of dried vomit and piss as he collected glasses. As the man passed over his glass, he gave a grin and a, “Tough night, huh?”

The bartender cracked a weary smile.

“Nah, not really. It always gets like this when there’s a bad accident. Some drunk got himself run over down the street. Died. But it brings all these fucking ghosts out. Half of them -” He jerked his thumb at the sleeping Elvis. “- refuse to believe they’re fucking dead yet, either.”

New Releases

April 2017

Domina (PC) – April 3
Persona 5 (PS4, PS3) – April 4
Ira (PC, Mac) – April 5
Bulletstorm: Full Clip Edition (PS4, Xbox One, PC) – April 7
Don’t Think Twice (Rift, Vive) – April 7
Yooka-Laylee (PS4, Xbox One, PC) – April 11
The Sexy Brutale (PS4, Xbox One, PC) – April 11
Stardew Valley: Collector’s Edition (PS4, Xbox One) – April 11
Calm Waters (PC, Mac) – April 13
Guardians of the Galaxy (PS4, Xbox One, PC, iOS, Android) – April 18
The Silver Case (PS4) – April 18
Micro Machines: World Series (PS4, Xbox One) – April 21
Dragon Quest Heroes II (PS4) – April 25
Outlast 2 (PS4, Xbox One) – April 25
Puyo Puyo Tetris (Switch, PS4) – April 25
Sniper: Ghost Warrior 3 (PS4, Xbox One, PC) – April 25
Syberia 3 (PlayStation 4, Xbox One, PC) – April 25
Wilson’s Heart (Rift) – April 25
Little Nightmares (PS4, Xbox One, PC) – April 28
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (Switch) – April 28
Portal Knights (PS4, Xbox One, PC) – April 28

May 2017

Prey (PS4, Xbox One, PC) – May 5
Birthdays: The Beginning (PS4, PC) – May 9
Farpoint (PSVR) – May 16
Injustice 2 (PS4, Xbox One, iOS, Android) – May 16
Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia (3DS) = May 19
Guilty Gear Xrd Rev 2 (PS4, Xbox One, PC, PS3) = May 26
Rime (PS4, Xbox One, PC) = May 26
Ultra Street Fighter II: The Final Challengers (Switch) = May 26
Don’t Starve Mega Pack (PS4, Xbox One) = May 30

June 2017

Tekken 7 (PS4, Xbox One, PC) – June 2
The Elder Scrolls Online: Morrowind (PS4, Xbox One, PC) – June 6
Dirt 4 (PS4, Xbox One, PC) – June 6
Wipeout Omega Collection (PS4) – June 7
Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood (PS4, PC, Mac) – June 20
Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy (PS4) – June 30