By gennifaiy{C}
While many call ReVo their online home, our residents are actually found all over the world! Earlier this year, mouth{JT} had the great idea of helping us become even closer through a virtual tour of the ReVo globe. In this installment of Where in the World, gennifairy introduces us to her patch of the map.
So, where in the world was gennifairy born and raised? Well, you could say it is a few inches north of Hell: Sunny Florida. Or, as most people who live here and don’t like the sweltering heat that swarms over you once you open the door say: South Florida. I was born in West Palm Beach, but raised in Ft. Lauderdale. You know what the difference is between those two cities? Nothing.
South Florida is hot, humid, and rainy. We have nothing but mosquitoes day in and day out. For us, a cool day is in the eighties – but that’s if it hasn’t been raining. If it has, the humidity knocks that up to the thousandth degree.
Traffic in Florida is insane. I-95 (the main highway that runs north and south through the state) is under constant construction. I could always tell when I was getting close to West Palm, because that’s where the construction and backed-up traffic begins. Most people think West Palm Beach is a beautiful, lush, palm tree-studded vacation paradise. False! The “Palm Beaches” are, yes, but that’s where people with money go. West Palm Beach is the stereotypical ugly, poor, black sheep. I mean, sure, Florida is known for orange juice, palm trees, and being not only the third most-populated state in the country but the second ranked for tourism, but do you really know Florida?
Florida is a great place to have a vacation, for sure. We have Orlando, which has Disney World, Universal Studios, Wet n’ Wild, Sea World, Medieval Times, and a ton of other attractions. I personally love going during the off season – after everyone else has gone home – so that I can enjoy them with less people bothering me. And if you love beaches, we have a ton of those, too. Our entire coast is made up of nothing but beaches, but depending on where you go, you can have nice, beautiful beaches with soft white sand – Coco Beach, for example – or disgusting beaches with hard sand that feels like glass cutting you in places you didn’t know sand could fit into!
Where I live now is more rivers than beaches. (I know, Florida has rivers? It’s thrown me off since I moved here, but we do!) Rivers are better than those over-populated beaches with screaming kids and weird bathing suits any day of the week, though.
We also have the Florida Keys, which I hear are fantastic places to go and experience! I have never been myself, but I have plenty of friends and family that have. It’s a beautiful oasis, and is a cheaper way to experience the Caribbean without leaving the States (or so I have been told). You can rent houses or hotels, and you have three main islands to choose from. The best part is you don’t have to boat or fly to get there – there is a long expanse of highway that stretches over miles of ocean, taking you straight from Miami to the Keys.
The big thing that Floridians don’t tell you is – we have bugs. Mutant bugs that escaped from a lab somewhere from Africa and made it to us, where they thrive in the tropical weather. We have palmetto bugs, which is the nice, polite Southern way of saying “flying roaches”. Yes, you heard that right. They spread their black wings, make a horrible noise, and fly at you. They’re huge, too, and they hunger for your soul. I swear it! We also have alligators, but anyone could tell you that – look in any backstreet canal and you have a chance to see one swimming through, with its black-hearted soul in its eyes as it looks to eat whatever it can get into next.
I no longer live in West Palm Beach. I moved north and switched to the West Coast, and it’s like night and day. Outside of the insane traffic in Gainesville, it’s more like the country here then I realized Florida has. I just recently found out we even have a small protected land that has wild horses still in it! Yeah, in Florida! I was shocked as you are. The only thing I thought Florida had was the Everglades, which I have been to. They have airboats, trails, and the like. The Everglades are as hot and humid as the rest of Florida, and the bugs and snakes get to me. People, ignorantly, have released snakes there that are not native to Florida, and every year they have hunting season to kill some of them due to them being an invasive species.
So Florida can be a beautiful place. It’s absolutely amazing to visit and explore. We have many historical locations, beaches, and fantastically fun, tourist-y areas for people of all ages and temperaments. Would I recommend moving here? Absolutely not. Not unless you enjoy living in mini-Africa, or really enjoy heat. I mean, it hit 97 degrees today. Most people think, “That’s not that bad, Genni.” But when you have a humidty index of over 45%? 97 quickly turns close to 128364357-degrees in hell. Also? Why would anyone want to live in the flattest state in the entire US of A? I mean, if you hate snow and winter that much and are over the age of 55, I get it, but otherwise? Nah, bro. Just don’t!